E3. This is my Christmas, Woodstock and Superbowl all rolled into one. Since I made the insane error of attempting to work at my job and cover E3 on the blog in 2010, I've booked a week and a half of vacation time for the event every year, and it's... lovely.
All I have to do is play video games and watch video game reveals and write about video games - it's heavenly - and the other day, Steam's summer sale started.
I am not a PC gamer, in the same way I'm not an Xbox gamer. I would be, if I had an Xbox One, and I would be, if I had a gaming rig. I don't have either, but my pathetic PC is capable of running...
- Don't Starve
- Darkest Dungeon
Don't Starve is (infinitely) better served as an on-the-go experience on my Vita, and Darkest Dungeon's still-in-development status leaves it tethered to my PC. The other day, the game got a little hotfix patch for some bugs, and bam. No more Darkest Dungeon.
Wouldn't even launch. Gul durn it. I kept lamely trying to run it, over the past few days, just to see. Maybe there was a new patch that let the game work on my awful computer!
But no. No...
I did that awful PC gamer dance of checking my video drivers, which some obscure forum assured me causes this sort of thing to happen with Darkest Dungeon, but alas. Alas...
The Man-At-Arms (far right) and Arbalest (far left) heroes had just been added to the game, along with three new bosses, and I'm going to spend E3 without my most anticipated game of the year.
But... the Steam sale...
So I poked around. Whenever a Steam Sale happens, I want to see Mark of the Ninja on there. It's not. It's not featured, at least, but they had a bundle that contains the game and all the subsequent DLC and special edition stuff for twelve bucks. For the single best stealth game of all time.
Hm. These PC controls suck. But apparently it's easy to use an Xbox 360 controller with a PC.
I'd better spend another $11 on batteries for my old 360 pad.
And ooh, XCOM is on the front page... I can get it, with Enemy Within for eleven bucks?
Yes, yes I will. I mean, my PC probably won't run it, but... oh my God MY PC RUNS ENEMY WITHIN!
I mean, I have to turn the resolution down to like 720p, but still! That's awesome!
Wait a minute. Wait just a gott-damned minute.
I've been Steam saled.
*thank you, Chamberlain, for showing me this.
But for the record, whenever I hear this song,
I think of the unofficial video.
...and they've got Valkyria Chronicles up for five bucks... ehhh it probably won't even run.
Yeah, there's no way it'll run.
Let's find out.
[update] It runs! [/update]
Ooh, and they've got This War of Mine for like nine bucks.
...my boss was talking that up the other day. And it turns out it got a lot of awards. And that HAWP about it was pretty funny...
Fucking Steam sales. For years I was able to sit back and shrug at all these wallet-emptying memes, and now here I am. Buying This War of Mine.
I need a funny .GIF. About Steam sales. But it also needs to be anime.
Preferably Kill la Kill.
And wait, Sleeping Dogs Definitive Edition is down to twenty bucks on PSN this weekend?
...and after uninstalling and re-installing Darkest Dungeon, it works! Let's kick the shit out of these awful new bosses!
Chester! Nooo! My best Jester!
Ohhh life is good.
And while we're on the subject of E3, I'd like to point out that I kinda' love how Sony announced all this stuff the week ahead of E3. So then it's like "if this is what they're revealing now, what are they saving for the conference?"