Alright Sony, bring it on. C'monnnn Vita games. C'monnn Vita gams. C'monnn not-taking-a-half-hour-to-talk-about-VR-which-nobody-will-really-appreciate-cause-it's-fucking-VR-and-you-can't-really-get-it-unless-you've-got-the-headset-on. C'monnn.... start the show.
Ah, here we go.
Sizzle reel... Ah. Uncharted 4. Drake is... stamping some forms. Super good-looking forms. Looks like the opening of Uncharted 4! Very nice. Writing a bit forced at points.
Shawn Layden's up, wearing a... Crash Bandicoot shirt. Hm... He's talking up PSX, and thanking the gamers yadda yadda yadda... They'll have "the most PlayStation VR content at any show to date and of course lots and lots and lots of game announcements."
LOL they're talking about the FFVII remake reveal. In fairness that was pretty awesome. Ooh they're actually showing gameplay! English voice work! It looks gorgeous. Frickin' gorgeous.
Squenix is up to chat. Annnd they don't really say anything. Oh they're here to announce the PC port of VII will be available today for PS4. Myeh.
Shelby Cox comes out. Who's Shelby Cox? I don't remember seeing her before..? Oh she's talking about Call of Duty zzzzzz...
The first DLC map pack for Blops III is coming first to PS4 - thirty days before other platforms. Yayyyyy we super-care about this... Call of Duty World League will have some sort of Sony cooperation, Sony is co-funding the prize pool.
She needs to stop saying "woo."
Now she's talking about EA and Star Wars - specifically the Battle of Jakku map. And now they're showing off multiplayer footage. I gotta' admit, I care very little about games that have already been released.
Siiigh now Randy "we made Colonial Marines and Duke Nukem Forever" is up to talk about Battleborn. Remember that announcement that the beta would be exclusive to PS4 and nobody cared?
Hm. Battleborn will have "a huge campaign", solo and co-op. Couch co-op splitscreen is supported. If you play the beta on PS4, you'll get a bonus character, free- the hero will be created once they finish the main game, and now he's showing another character - Toby, a penguin in a mech suit. ...which is pretty rad on its own.
And now some Toby gameplay.
Street Fighter V is up... so it has been a half-hour and not a single new game has been announced. Hm. New character announced for SFV - Fang. Very Chinese-wushu style and... kind of silly looking and sounding.
Yoshinori Ono (Capcom) is up to talk. Fang is the final launch character, and the first character revealed without a leak, so he's very happy about that.
Alex, Guile, Balrog, Ibuki, Juri and Urien will be coming in the first-year post-launch, so... yeah. No Blanka for Chamberlain :( The game's 2016 season pass will go live on PSN right after the presser.
Gio Corsi walks up. Tells Yoshinori he's done... Yoshinori keeps talking for another two minutes but now it's Gio Corsi! We like Gio.
Give me something else, Gio! Something awesome.
They're showing a new game mode for the already-announced Dead Star... a bunch of Adult Swim (game publisher/TV network) are coming to PS4...
Death's Gambit - already knew that.
Ray's the Dead - already knew that, and it was supposed to come to Vita too... like, years ago...
Duck Game. That's a new one. 2D shooter/platformer.
Rain World - already knew that.
Small Radios, Big Televisions - that's a new one... I think.
And from Double Fine - ooh that head-swapping Metroidvania! Nice. Headlander, that's it. Hey and Tim Schafer's comin' out :D
New Day of the Tentacle Remastered trailer. Coming March 2016. So that's... sort of an announcement! Still coming to Vita - nice to hear!
Oh tell me Full Throttle!
Say it! FUCK YES!
I am IN FOR FULL THROTTLE - coming to PS4 and Vita! Yyyyyessssss!
Oh Tim Schafer, I love you so. I'm going to go back Psychonauts 2 now.
"If you can't wait for Psychonauts 2 we have something special just for you guys." Psychonauts in the Rhombus of Ruin is a new Psychonauts game for PlayStation VR! Huh! Exclusive! A PS VR announcement I'm not bored of.
KLEI! Klei Entertainment is up - trailer for Invisible Inc. Ooooh Don't Starve Together logo is up! "Making its console debut on PlayStation 4." Nice. Don't Starve Together Console Edition.
"Next game is making its console debut on PS4 and Vita." Hm. Zodiac - which you may remember. Gorgeous art, but reviews of its original launch indicate it has some real gameplay design problems.
Still, Vita. Maybe the design will be cleaned up by the console release?
Hitman Go? Seriously? For PS4 and Vita. New announcement.
Brawlhalla will come to PS4 - new announcement!
Yakuza 5 will make its debut in the west on PS3 this Tuesday Dec 8th.
Yakuza Zero is also getting localized. By Sony. That's pretty big.
Last Blade 2 - old Neo Geo fighting game - coming to PS4 and Vita.
Now a new trailer for King of Fighters XIV. Myeh.
Koe Tecmo game... Team Ninja... oh it's Ni-Oh. Well, glad it's gettin' localized. I'm always down for some samurai action.
Sid Shuman and Nick Suttner from SCE... no idea who these guys are.
But he's talking about Bastion for Vita and IT'S OUT TODAY YESSSS that is happening. Launching at $2.99? WTF? And cross-buy with PS4.
The Bit.Trip - $9.99 cross-buy on PS4 and Vita - all the Bit.Trip games in one convenient place.
Vlambeer - Nuclear Throne! Also launching today on PS4 and Vita! Wtf?!
Awesome lol well now I'm a happy gamer.
Brutal from Stormcloud Games... oh it's a... brawler? With weird polygonal characters covered in ASCII symbols..? Coming to PS4.
Now an MLB the Show the trailer...
Scott Rhode is up and he's talking about Guns Up! ...which I'm pretty sure was announced like two years ago? Free-to-play on PSN starting today. PS+ members get a free bundle full of stuff you'll have to pay for later. First taste is free, kids.
Fat Princess Adventures will also launch today, right after the conference. Cool. That... actually looks pretty entertaining. (Isometric comedy-fueled co-op action-RPG.)
Everybody who purchases before Dec 15th will get a weapons DLC pack for free. Now Ted Price..?
Ratchet &Clank :D Movie is coming April 28th. The game will debut on April 12th.
Dr. Richard Marks is up... talking about VR stuff so I'm going to have a cigarette.
...and we're back... in time for..? Rez for PS VR. Hm! Smart move.
Rez Infinite. Is that Adam Boyes? Yes it is! And Asad Qizilbash who... I don't know.
Alright Adam, rock my world. You've done great things in the past.
Asad is talking about PlayStation VR... and so is Adam... :( oh Adam. I want Vita indies from you.
Ubisoft will bring Eagle Flight to PlayStation VR... you are literally an eagle flying through a somewhat low-res city. And there's multiplayer I guess?
I have seriously yet to see a VR game that makes me go "oh shit, I've got to try that."
Sony Santa Monica is making a PS VR title... Modern Zombie. "Many years have passed since the zombie apocalypse." You seem to be a taxi driver, driving zombies around town because now it's a society of proper British zombies. Very low-poly.
The Modern Zombie Taxi Co, coming 2016.
Job Simulator from Alchemy Labs. A "bizarre and hilarious" game about being an office worker.
Now something atmospheric from Highwire Games... huh. Interesting. There's a young woman in a room with a blindfold on, but she's clearly controlling like a huge rock... well yeah, Golem is the title. Looks interesting, at least.
100 Foot Robot Golf.
Giant robots playing golf.
Bandai Namco's Ace Combat 7 is coming to PS VR. A very pretty pre-rendered trailer.
Now he's talking about Destiny and The Taken King. A brand new event coming this month to The Taken King. Looks like new armor? Hahah Sparrow racing. Finally. Sparrow Racing League begins December 8th. Free for anyone who owns The Taken King.
Hob, from the makers of Torchlight. A beautiful, atmospheric action/puzzle platformer.
Making its console debut on PS4.
"...please enjoy the worldwide premeire of this exclusive PS4 title..." that's fucking Ni No Kuni 2.
I think you play as a beautiful little boy with cat ears.
Ni No Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom. Looks... frickin' amazing.
Hm. The crew from Epic Games is up. Fortnite?
Nope. Paragon. A MOBA "with explosive action, direct third-person control and strategic choice." Coming to PS4 and PC in 2016. Oh this is the thing they were teasing those weird little character reveals for. Prerendered trailer. Nice music choice.
Epic always does these super-violent trailers with nice soft music. I'm not tired of it yet.
And looks like that's the end of the show, because it's gone into a sizzle reel for everything.
Well... Full Throttle coming to Vita, and Nuclear Throne and Bastion are out today on Vita. Ni No Kuni II is real, and happening, and Hob looks cool,
That's cool. Not as blown-away as I was last year, but that's cool.