Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Game Diary - not Grand Theft Auto Online.


I don't feel particularly disappointed that Grand Theft Auto Online isn't working.

No, that's not true.  Disappointed was the wrong word to use, 'cause I am disappointed - repeatedly.  I'm disappointed every time I waste ten or twenty minutes creating my character and trying to get it to work and getting an infinite load or a permanent black screen for my troubles.  Again and again and again I've made my short-haired blond lady, mixing and matching her ancestry until she approximates what I'm lookin' for, and tried to head into the game.

Again and again and again, it never works out.  It can't host a session.  It goes to a black screen.  It loads indefinitely.  I've wasted hours trying to get online with GTA.  It's definitely disappointing.

But I'm definitely not surprised.

Oh God it looks so cool I wanna' start building my car collection right now!

Even Rockstar was a bit standoffish with the idea that Grand Theft Auto Online would actually work when October 1st came - and anyone who thought it would be all peaches and cream has never seen an online game launch.  SimCity was a disaster, and even World of Warcraft was a bit of a trainwreck when it first started up - such is the nature of the online beast - and Rockstar?

Rockstar have never done something like this before.  The online component for IV was a series of one-off sessions, and RDR's online component was similarly divided and segregated. Grand Theft Auto Online is a much more ambitious exercise, and the fact that about twenty million copies of GTA V are out there, with gamers pushing to get themselves online, isn't helping.

How do you just (snaps fingers) make an infrastructure that supports twenty million players?  Unfortunately for us, you do it slowly.  And maybe that's why I don't have the GTA V review up yet.

I don't want the final taste of this game before review time to be that of disappointment.


In the mean time, I'm also not playing Lone Survivor : Director's Cut on my Vita.  I tried it.  I put an hour or two into it.  I don't care about it.

I'm a bit surprised by that.  I enjoy survival horror as a general rule, but this one simply didn't grab me.  Time was, I would force myself to keep playing it - perhaps Stockholm syndrome would set in and I would learn to love it, and a review would get writ.  But I don't wanna'.  Whenever I pick up my Vita, it just seems the height of stupidity to play anything other than Dragon's Crown.

So I play Dragon's Crown.


My Wizard's about 26 now.  Which, I appreciate, may be a bit distressing to readers of this blog.

"Oh my God, Chance, the point at which you should reasonably start to shut the fuck up about Dragon's Crown has long since passed," is an understandable point of view.

As an act of contrition, allow me to point you once again towards the joy that is Catbug, and Bravest Warriors.  I posted this a while back, but if you don't know what a Catbug is I strongly, strongly encourage you to set aside ninety seconds and watch this.

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