Thursday, May 22, 2014

Best Girlfriend Ever?

It's Kayla's Birthday (in two weeks)!  Woo!

As I am wont to do, I was bugging Kayla about what she wanted for her birthday, starting about two weeks ago.  For her birthday, for our anniversary, for Christmas, she always insists she doesn't want anything.  

Now, we all know what that is, don't we, Admiral? 

You're darned tootin' it is.  A work associate, today, told me that I'm expected to intuit what she wants and just get it for her without asking.  I'll do that, I admit, about half the time (Christmas 2012, Anniversary 2013) - but the only thing I could really think of, this year, was a huge gift certificate to her favorite store, as I kept on remembering this comic, and wanted to see her cry tears of joy at the thought of a lovingly-supported chest. 

Eventually she conceded that we would go to her favorite store and shop together, and I would foot the bill - an agreement lasted no more than four-and-twenty hours.  She decided that with all the working out she's been doing lately, any clothes we bought her wouldn't fit properly in a quarter-year, and would be wasted money. 

"But you'll still be comfortable for the next three months," I prodded.  That, alone, was worth it to me - but not to her.  She'd hear none of it, and would volunteer no suggestions. 

"You have to give me something, here," I insisted.  "Otherwise, I swear to God, I'm just gonna' go out and buy you a Vita."

"Ooh, a Vita!" she perked up.  


Now, it's no secret I love my Vita.  I love my Vita - but Kayla had only ever indicated a passing interest in the device.  My threat of purchasing her one was just that - a threat, which I expected her to immediately shoot down because she hates it when I spend a lot of money on her - but she began talking over the benefits of having one, and gushing at the thought of playing Dragon's Crown on her breaks at work, or when I'm playing a PS4 game at home. 

My work associate, who expected me to telepathically understand Kayla's birthday wishes, is terribly supportive of our relationship.  When I told him, a month or so ago, that she's into video games, he didn't even let me finish the sentence. 

"Keep her," he said, stone-faced and deadly serious.  When I went in to work on Tuesday and (proudly) told him that Kayla wanted a Vita for her birthday, with the same seriousness, he said "lock that one down, Ferber."

And, yesterday, Kayla and I went in to my local EB. 

Kayla, I know you hate it when I spend a lot of money on you, and I'm sorry, my dear - you know I don't want you to feel guilty - but... 

$200.00+Tax - The Borderlands 2 Vita slim bundle

$20.00+Tax - a hard Vita clamshell case

$20.00+Tax - two screen protectors.

$50.00 - a fifty-dollar PSN card (for Dragon's Crown - she bought another for The God of War Collection)

$100+Tax - a 32GB memory card (which, I'll be honest, is the memory card I stopped using when I upgraded to the 64GB - but it's still a hundred-dollar value).

= $434.20

A girlfriend who actually wants me to buy her a video game platform?

So last night I hopped in to her PSN account and began setting the thing up.  A pleasant side-effect of this is I've now gone hands-on with the new, slim Vita, and am properly armed to advise you on how it compares to the original model.

I wasn't able to get everything set up by the time she swung by last night, but by this morning, my work was done.  This is Kayla's Vita:

This is her start screen - an old image from Johnny Wander she's used as her Google avatar ever since.

I cleaned up her options applications and used a background picture I drew in the long-long-ago, when I had a very menial job that permitted me to draw while on the phone.

Now, keep in mind, the only games we actually had to buy yesterday were Dragon's Crown and the God of War collection.

(Kayla's always loved this Danbo pic.)

(Kayla's always loved cute pictures of animals.)

Guacamelee she got via cross-buy with the PS3 version, Uncharted: Golden Abyss is free with her PS+ subscription.

(It took her a while, but she fell in love with Adventure Time - as anyone should.)

A download code for Borderlands 2 came free with the Vita - she insisted she didn't want it, but I keep encouraging her to try it out.  Perhaps, one day, we can fight our way across Pandora together.  Again, everything else is free with PS+.

(Anyone who doesn't love Archer in general and Pam specifically is bad and should feel bad about that)

Retro City Rampage is another cross-buy title, but everything else?  Yep - PS+.   So basically, my love got about three hundred dollars worth of games, but only actually bought two of them.   And that's why you subscribe to PS+.

Ah, Vita.

Ah, Kayla.

Now... I know I have peculiar predilections, and I know that rare is the woman who'd want to lay in bed next to me while my Amazon berserker assists her armored Warrior through a dungeon in Dragon's Crown to kill some owlbears...  but the point is, that's exactly what I've got.

Happy birthday, Kayla. 


  1. Best.boyfriend.ever.

    That is two Sony platforms you have bought for me. You bought me my PS3 for our first christmas together. I always say you don't need to buy anything but I always love what you get me. an obscene amount of money on a birthday gift! I didn't realize it would be that I'm sad :( buuuuut my knight is level 42 and my Amazon is a level 25.


  2. Yeah, uh, dude? You have an awesome girlfriend.