Wednesday, May 7, 2014

If it sounds too good to be true...


E3 2014 is now nearly an exact month away, and over the coming weeks you'll see this cool gaming-journalism-ecosystem thing happen.  Y'know those nature documentaries where they talk about how all surrounding life is tied to the nearby river in Africa?  It's kinda' like that - the river's about to dry up.  It'll get drier and drier until those cool amphibious mudskipper fish show up.

Mudskippers are awesome.

 They'll wander in desperation between pools of life-sustaining news - even the littlest bit will do!  A whisper of a rumor!  An indie trailer!

And then, the rains will come.


A torrential downpour of news is on the horizon, and things will get hardest just before the cloudburst - but we'll survive (keep an eye open for a bunch of new trailers and even announcements June 2nd - 6th, as developers and publishers try to get their message out before the storm that is E3).

Until then, though, things will get progressively drier.  We should get some sweet leaks on the weekend before - like Christmas Eve present spoilers - but today, a ton of rumors broke on NeoGAF about Sony and PlayStation products, all just possible enough to give hope they might be true:

  • A three-minute Uncharted PS4 trailer with in-engine footage that'll blow your mind, coming Summer 2015. 
  • Media Molecule's next thing is exclusive to Morpheus, Sony's VR headset. 
  • Gran Turismo 6 is getting a 1080p 60FPS facelift for PS4. 
  • God of War 4 teaser. 
  • Kill Strain, from Sony Bend (Uncharted: Golden Abyss), possibly coming winter 2014 to PS4. 
  • WipEout coming to PS4. 
  • New Quantic Dream trailer. 
  • The Order: 1886 stage demo. 
  • Ninja Theory working on PS4 exclusive, possibly Heavenly Sword 2
  • Guerrilla Games is going to debut a PS4 RPG. 
  • Sucker Punch will announce inFamous: Second Son DLC that offers new powers. 
  • Three SCEJ titles - Project Beast, The Last Guardian (coming to PS4 in 2014 - hah!) and a mystery title. 
  • Grand Theft Auto V announced coming to the new generation. 
  • Price cuts for PS3 and Vita.
  • More indies. 
  • The E3 presser will end with a teaser for The Last of Us 2.
Let it rain, baby. 


Let it rain

But here's the thing... it's likely all bullshit.  The Last Guardian?  That shoulda' tipped you off, right there - that game will never come out.  Sure, there'll be an Uncharted 4 trailer and absolutely you'll see a playable build of The Order - the rest..?

Well, I prefer Christmas to remain unspoilt.

Oh, and that thing about Valkyria Chronicles coming to PS4 is total bullshit.  Whoever made that up and let people believe it for even and eighth of a second is a monster.

So yes, things are getting a bit dry, but be patient, my mudskippers.  The rains will come - and when they do, I'll do my best to keep our heads above water, and prevent us getting swept downstream.

'Cause you gotta' be careful - there's crocodiles in there. And they go for the face.

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