Monday, July 28, 2014

Send me the tracking number you monsters! had originally told me they'd ship me my Elf in May.  Then in June.  Then they said they'd cancel my order if I hadn't received it by some point in August and I was like "eff that, this Japanese guy says he'll ship it in 1-2 days."

Turns out the reason hadn't shipped it was because it hadn't been released (not that Amazon's beautiful form letter explained that), and in early July Megahouse finally locked down the release date for the item - July 18th.  Either way, my order had been moved, and on July 18th, the day the figure released, some good people with a far better grasp of English than I grasp Japanese shipped my Megahouse Dragon's Crown Elf Excellent Model PVC Figure.

"[Expedited shipping],we announce you tracking number," their seller information assured.  I had paid for expedited shipping.  Great!  Make with the tracking number.

A week passed, and no tracking number arrived.  Perhaps I should have begun buzzing their bonnet sooner, but I decided to give it ten business days.  No idea why - but I've been obsessively checking my Amazon-associated email account, multiple times a day, on the off chance I might discover an email with Elf-chan's tracking number in it.

Today makes it 11 days since my Elf shipped.

I mean, who are these people I gave two hundred of my dollars to, anyway?  I don't know them.  Couldn't look them in the eye and gauge their trustworthiness.  Obviously, these people had put on a compelling grift consisting of a few dozen positive Amazon reviews over the past year, cobbled together via dummy accounts, all for the point and purpose of making off with my cash money.

And today was a fuck of a day, man.  Just one of those days where you're busting your ass at work all day and still underwater by the end of it.

And then we had to go run errands and I'm just like uuugh this day needs to end and we got home and I opened the door and you can see where I'm going with this.

When I saw the box - the huge box - my heart jumped a bit, and I stepped forward to examine the addressee.  It was for me.  I shrieked.  I cried "wooo!" and immediately carried the brown Amazon box into the kitchen to unwrap.  Inside, the Elf's box was covered in Japanese newsprint and rice paper.

The Elf's box is pretty gorgeous too.

*I did not take this picture, someone with a better camera and lighting did. 

She does, I'm kind of amazed to admit, beat out the spectacular Momohime, even with that ugly-ass foot cone.  It's just an incredible sculpt with a gorgeous paint job and a ridiculously dynamic pose.

I'm not in any way, shape or form a serious collector of Japanese PVC Figures, but I am a serious collector of Vanillaware products, and between Momo and Gwendolyn, my figure collection now spans three console platforms and two generations of gaming.    My beautiful Elf's base is... colossal - and begging to be dressed up with some modeling gear a'la the clever folks over at 2chan:

*I did not take this picture, someone with a better camera and lighting did. now I kinda' wanna' hit up a model shop and see if I can find some good fake moss, or something.  Or better yet, real moss.  That's likely easier to find...

And lo, my Dragon's Crown collection of expensive plastic figures has begun.

*I did not take this picture, someone with a better camera and lighting did. 

*I did not take this picture, someone with a better camera and lighting did. 

Zero regrets, of course.  The Elf is a stunning reproduction of Kamitani's concept art, and an awesome hero in what I must admit is either one of my favorite games of all time, or My Favorite Game of All Time.

And that's a bold statement, given my experience.

*I did not take this picture, someone with a better camera and lighting did. 

Now the only problem is I'm running out of space to prominently display my Vanillaware heroes.  It may be time to invest in some variety of glass shelving...

Y'know what?  Let's end things off on the rotating .gif.  That's an awesome .gif.




  1. There's no worse feeling than throwing your money down the internet hole and getting the feeling nothing's coming back up.

    Glad to hear that didn't end in statue-less tragedy!

    1. She is truly my (Dragon's) crown jewel of gaming paraphernalia - but it wasn't the worst internet feeling. The worst was that one time I participated in a certain forum's secret Santa thing, worked really, really hard to put together a nice and generous package for my santee that addressed their gaming sensibilities and covered some holes in their library... and my secret Santa got me a pirated copy of a game for a system I don't own and a bag of chocolate "coal." I was like "I'm not sure I deserve this."

  2. Some are convinced it's not possible to say "fuck you" with a gift.

    Clearly that's not the case XD.

    1. My favorite version of the Fuck You Gift is saying "oh, that reminds me, I have something for you," reaching into your pocket, and pulling out your middle finger. "It's a bird! I think it might be endangered!" (Pull out the other hand and the other finger.) "Only two left!"

      ...where is that from... I didn't come up with it...

      God, this is gonna' bug me now.