"What you saying about the Amazon trailer before the constable called and interrupted us?"
"She sounds pretty awesome. I never asked you to hate her or any of the other characters...just because I don't like it doesn't mean I will ever ask or tell you not to play it or anything else I don't like"
"I know. I just feel like I should dislike her 'cause of the Bat-kini."
"Ah. Well I imagine Amazons wouldn't wear much so the battle bikini might not be that far off.
Try the game and then see how you feel about it."
-personal correspondence, May 2013-
If you're familiar with this blog, you're familiar with my position on Dragon's Crown.
There was absolutely no question, when a Japanese art house figure designer called Megahouse announced their Dragon's Crown figures, that I would get the Amazon. She is my single favorite character from my single favorite video game of all time - but she proved troubling to acquire. Amazon.com flatly refused to list her for preorder, and I didn't - at the time - have much faith in any other company.
That's when another heroine stepped up, and rescued me.
Kayla laid down a preorder through Ebay with a re-seller in Hong Kong. The Amazon was released on September 16th. It got to the re-seller last week. Last night, as I was playing The Evil Within, Kayla checked her phone and announced she was heading home for a bit, but she'd be back.
I was worried the game mighta' grossed her out too much - she doesn't even like scary movies.
Kayla came back with pizza, and the Megahouse Excellent Model - Dragon's Crown: Amazon 1/7 scale figure.
I flipped out a teensy bit.
Her hair begins platinum blond on the crown of her head, and fades to a translucent brown at the tips. Just like in the key art. Her eyes retain that cool, bored, liquid pallor - just like in the key art. She's like,
This woman gives zero fucks. She's is a coiled spring of muscle and violence with a six-foot axe on one end, and she uses it to kill dragons.
It's... very meaningful to me, that this was a gift from Kayla. It's the most... daring figure I own. The least-clothed, I should say - by a very wide margin. I love that Kayla gets why I wanted the figure. I love that she poured fifty-plus hours into her own Amazon in Dragon's Crown (she's past level 100), and I love that when I put the figure up on the shelf and called her over, her response was
She does look awesome - almost as awesome as a girlfriend who would buy me a two hundred dollar Japanese PVC figure of a girl in a bikini, holding an axe, and then pronounce it awesome.
That's awesome. And the figure's... perfect. I absolutely love it - and I know, you might be thinkin' "Christ, Chance, how many Japanese figures does that make so far?"
I knew it would be a slippery slope when I bought Momo last year - but well-read gamers will note that I have, thus far, successfully limited myself to figures of beloved characters from games by the luxuriously 2D-centric Japanese developer Vanillaware (Momo's from Muramasa, Gwendolyn's from Odin Sphere).
Of course, I have one more to go.
What? The Sorceress is plenty awesome, too. And now, let us end with some hot, hot turntable action.
Thank you, Kayla. This is probably the best birthday present anyone's ever given me. The figure and the understanding. Often, we gamers aren't used to feeling... so wholly accepted. By anyone. And I'm glad that it's you. That's a helluva gift.