Sunday, May 3, 2015

A Chamberlainesque post on MKX.

It looks absolutely incredible.

I was really, really enjoying my time with Mortal Kombat X.  I loved its story mode, loved its low-rent cheesy epicness and sassy one-liners.  I loved brawling my way up the towers with Cassie and earning some unlocks.

But the past tense is operative, here.  I tried online matches today.

I feel like Nick Fury when he explained to the team in the first Avengers movie why he'd been using the Tesseract to create weapons.  "We are hopelessly, hilariously outgunned."

I just couldn't.  Do.  Shit.  Couldn't do anything.  I got boxed into a corner and had absolutely no clue how to get out.  I couldn't manage myself, like I can in Virtua Fighter.

I promised Chamberlain I'd be happy to go a few rounds with him, but now... now I feel like a school kid who just got the shit bullied out of him, and doesn't intend on returning to the playground ever again.  Why bother?

Why poke my head up to see, if it's just going to get cut off - and I'd learn nothing in the process?  You'd think it would match me with some fellow noobs, but everyone I met were some sort of supernatural ultra-gamers.

This must be what Chamberlain felt like, playing Bloodborne.  I don't get it, and don't want to subject myself to it any more.

Which sucks.

'Cause I was really, really enjoying it.


  1. Pretty close.

    MK online is about finding a move to abuse that your opponent doesn't know the counter to. For example, online Scorpions will spam teleports because the input delay makes it impossible to react to. Solution: walk forward a few steps and block. He will still teleport and you can either throw or uppercut him for the trouble. Their 'plan' will crumble.

    What's scary is when you run into someone who actually can actually make the offline game work online. A few days ago I play a twenty or so game set against a random Cassie player. I won a round. One round. But I did learn a lot about what Cassie can do in the right hands.

    1. Your tales of an ass-kicking Cassie will not seduce me, Sir!