Monday, June 15, 2015

The Ubisoft presser.

Ubisoft's conferences are, historically, painful to watch.  Let's see what they've got.

Holy shit South Park again?!

Yes!  YESSS!

I could not be happier about this.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole.  Heheh.

Parker and Stone are up!  They hate their stupid microphones!

They're charming and ascerbic and hilarious!  Man.  I can't remember Ubisoft ever actually making me woop at a conference.


Now they're showing a pre-rendered trailer with a bunch of middle-ages warriors defending/attacking a castle... Now there's a samurai guy. Knights and such... now a chinese warrior.  What the heck is this?

For Honor.  Trailer's up - and now Jason Vandenberghe is talking.  I still don't know if this is a brawler or an RTS.  "For Honor offers you the opportunity to experience the adrenaline and danger of melee combat and a visceral battlefield."  "Bring your friends with you."

Oh they're showing gameplay, thank goodness.  Multiplayer - 4-player Vs, 4 co-op it seems.  Oh, okay it's a brawler.

PvP combat looks really awkward and slow-paced. It's good-looking, but not fun-looking.  Might be one of those things you have to play to get.

Now they're talking about expansions for The Crew.

Now there's... a CGI trailer with... a horse with a purple goatee and glowing red eyes... being ridden by a cat with a gun and a bandanna.

Trials Fusion Awesome Level Max.

You play a cat on a fire-breathing unicorn.  That is awesome level max.

And now The Division's up.  Showing gameplay.'s really selling the game as a third-person-shooter MMO... which is actually pretty appealing...

Hm.  That made it interesting.

The Division is coming on March 8th 2016.

Earth is polluted... the moon is populated...

Anno 2205, November 23rd.

Ah gameplay.

Okay it looks like a Sim-City kind of thing.

"Raise your city.  Develop your resources.  Race to space."

Now Ayesha Tyler is talking to a guy dressed up as the AC: Syndicate dude.  It's awkward.

Now they're talking about Just Dance 2016.

Now they're talking about Just Dance Unlimited... it's... a dance game streaming service.

I just threw up in my mouth a bit.  It tasted like wagon wheels and ice tea.

New trailer!  Prerendered!

Very nice CG Angela Basset though.

Splinter Cell?

Nope.  Rainbow 6 Siege.

"So far we've only been talking about multiplayer, but there is so much more to Siege."


Terrohunt is back - playable solo or with up to 4 friends (5-player).  "Players will face the most challenging AI in a Rainbow game yet."

Gameplay!  There will be four Terrohunt modes in Siege.  The beta starts on September 24th on all platforms.

Trackmania Turbo is coming to consoles.

A crapload of tracks (150+), and you can have tracks randomly-generated in the game. Looks just crazy enough.

Assassin's Creed Syndicate is up next. I'm... I'm feelin' pretty done with AC, so let's see what you got, Ubi.

Ugh it's like I can still taste Unity.


(Watches the whole thing.)


And finally, a new IP from a European studio...

Open-world anti-drug cartel game.  Third-person shooter. Ghost Recon Wildlands. 

And that's the Ubi conference.

South Park, yay!

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